Life's a Bitch.

man, this is jus too goddamned early for me.. slept 2am n woke up at 9am!! mati eh. so anyways~ maybe this year isnt that good for me at all, same like the last few years, still havin bad luck. ive no idea watto do, what to think, or even what to say.. jus now i jus found out that theres this friend of mine, wait.. ONCE a friend of mine, said she doesnt want me to be in contact wif her anymore, jus because she has a boyfriend. thats jus sad, man.
well, i considered her as my best friend, we always understand each other's problems and tried to solve them, and NO i dont have the hots for her causeshe has a boyfriend haha. one day~ we kinda lost contact (in msn bah, nda timbul2 hehe), 2months later i found out that she blocked me,with a reason that her boyfriend deleted my msn from hers, they argued cause she always layan aku d msn dri her bf. bla bla bla ~ maybe her bf thoughtive got the hots for his girl~ haha sorry la dude~ i dont RAMPAS gf urg dih. well anyways, i backed off, then the last few daysi asked her (thru my other friend) how to contact her cause i really needed someone to talk to, and harshly she saidshe doesnt want us to be in contact. so what to do, ive no choice but to back off once more. thats her final decision.so to that girl, thanks for everything, we've been thru lotsa things, and thanks for listenin, and i respect ur final decision.but what good is a friend whose not in contact or anything? hah.

well, i jus dont get it~ this is the 2nd time man. a few years back, theres this girl, she was my first best friend ive ever had haha.but now ive lost contact with her (i dont know why), though i know where she lives (and she knows where i live), i coudnt jus go to her house and say hi, now could i?what a fucked up life~.

i tell ya, life truly is a bitch.theres so many things goin around in my mind, pakal sja lauk ku ani nda pndai beckp :P kan jalan, sama sapa jua? jalan sorg2,kapih kan bali minyak keta. haha.


so the only thing that can keep my mind straight is to smoke.. smoke.. and smoke .. till the upsidedown-V-shaped organin my body grows even black, till the pipe of where my blood flows becomes narrow, till this broken heart of mineshuts down, till this god-forsaken body of mine collapse. all of this, jus to clear up my mind.